How To Kick Off The (Home)School Year With GROW: Christa Norman

TRANSCRIPT

Shanxi: Hello, this is Shanxi Omoniyi, host of MPE's Homeschool Hints podcast to encourage you wherever you may be on your homeschool journey. 

This time today I have with me Christa Norman, and we're going to discuss our upcoming GROW workshop, and this is just for homeschool moms. And I'm really excited about it because it's coinciding with the beginning of the back-to-homeschool rush, whether you're starting for the first time or you've been doing this for a while and you're trying to psych yourself up and remember, OK, we've done this before. God willing, we can do it again. Christa has some insights to share, and I'm so glad that she's joined us today.

So, Christa, thanks so much for coming. And would you like to tell us a little bit about yourself and your homeschool journey?

Christa: Sure. Thanks for inviting me today, I'm really happy to be here with you today.

So I'm about to enter into my 9th year of homeschooling. We started in 2016 when my firstborn was just 4 years old, and at that time I was just really blessed to be surrounded by several moms that had been homeschooling for a while already, and they were just very kind to mentor me into what it looked like to be a homeschool mom.

I never intended to homeschool. I went to college to get my elementary education degree, so I always envisioned being a classroom teacher and having my kids come home. Or instead of coming home from school, they would come to my classroom after the end of the school day and help me in my classroom. And so it was quite a culture shift for me when we made the decision to homeschool our kids.

So I've always just been so very grateful for the moms that were in my life when we started our home school journey. And it's just always been my desire to be that mom to other new moms as they begin their homeschool journey, or even just be an encouragement to other moms that have already been homeschooling for a while.

But we all need someone in our life that is an encouragement. So that's really my desire is to be that person. So in that vein, I've for the last several years been involved with different leadership roles in the homeschool community. I've directed a couple community groups, done a couple of different homeschool projects, and this last school year I was able to begin and direct my own homeschool co-op.

So we served 18 families this last school year and we are in the process of registering for next school year. So I feel really blessed to be able to have that as part of my life now. We have 5 kids. Our oldest is 12. He's going into 7th grade, and our youngest is a toddler. So I am fully in the trenches of multi-age homeschooling and managing schedules and all of the things. 

Shanxi: Well, thank you. What can people expect at a GROW event? You know, if they've never been before, this is their first time hearing about it, kind of wondering, you know, what is this all about and why should I come? 

Christa: Sure. Well, at this particular event, we're going to be creating wood signs together. I have all the supplies prepared in advance. So you really just have to come and be prepared to enjoy making a simple, fun project without worrying about doing any of the setup or the cleanup. That's a real plus.

There will be a little bit of structure at the beginning of our workshop just to get everyone started in creating their signs, and we will have some guided table discussion about how to build time to welcome friends, friendships into our lives.

But there will also be ample time for just organic conversations and you know time to enjoy some food together, so it'll be really fun. We will have something for everyone. We'll have some savory, we'll have some sweet, and plenty of delicious drinks as well. 

Shanxi: Yeah, I love something about sharing a meal together, you know, even if it's food or refreshments, or even if it's just like something simple, it's so worth it just to be with other people and just take that rest and that mental, here's something I didn't have to prepare for myself. 

Christa: Right. Yes, so it's tonight, this is the night of the week that dad gets to throw hot dogs on the grill, and mom gets to come enjoy something a little bit out of the ordinary.

Shanxi: I love that idea of welcome and how you mentioned that we'll be talking about how welcome is necessary for all our lives, especially as busy homeschool moms. Could you explain a little bit more about that, especially as it relates to our children? 

Christa: Yeah, this is like a really big deal to me and it's like really special, but also really intimidating to me, all at the same time.

So, many of us have welcome signs hanging on our door. Like, you know, those big things that we set next to our doors, and it's just really trendy to have welcome signs.

But I think sometimes when things like that are so trendy, we kind of forget about the meaning behind the word, what it means to be welcoming in our lives. And so I just want to open up a time of friendly reflection for us to think about how the Lord welcomes us into his heart. And how he created us to reflect that in our lives.

The Lord desires to have a deep relationship with us. And since we are created in his image, that means that our hearts are meant to experience that deep relationship with each other. So you know, what does that mean? Like on the ground, like, how am I behaving to or my children? Am I welcoming that extra question or that, you know, “Look at this stink bug, Mom!”

Or, like just something that you just don't feel like you have time for in your life. Are we welcoming that joy and awe and wonder, you know, with our children? And I am asking myself these same questions.

Like, am I doing this with my kids? Am I taking that pause to really welcome them into my heart? Do I welcome myself into relationship? Am I being honest and transparent, like, am I welcoming who I really am with, with the people in my life? And am I welcoming other people, like outside of my household, into my heart?

That looks like, am I creating margin in my life? Is my schedule so filled with stuff that I'm just like showing up to all these things? And yes, there's people there and they're probably people that I love, but am I actually welcoming them into my mind, into my heart, by showing up to those things?

Or do I need to take a minute and, you know, really assess that in myself. Am I fulfilling it the way that the Lord wants me to be connecting with the people around me?

Shanxi: It’s so simple. It's so easy, like you said, to just be caught up in the, “Let's do it because we're doing it.”

Christa: Yeah. Out of obligation. Like, are we doing things because we've obliged ourselves to them? Or are we doing it because we really want to see a window into other people's lives and have them do the same for, you know, into ours. 

Shanxi: What would you say to moms who have never been before and they might feel like it's not for them? For example, they could be shy and introverted, like myself. Or they already have a circle of homeschool friends. Or they could just feel like this time around, I cannot add just one more thing to my schedule. 

Christa: Yeah, it seems like it used to be like a certain time of the year was the busy time and now it's like every month I say, This month is busier than the last, so I totally get that.

So a little known fact – I've never actually been to a GROW event, so I'm kind of there with everybody else. I totally get it and so I can relate, you know, on a lot of those levels.

I know I tend to come across as a really extroverted person, but there's definitely a shy side of me. I was like, do I have the emotional energy to meet new people at this event, like am I going to connect with anyone? Is it going to be worth my time? And so for those people, I would just say that it would be just really great to just take a step of faith.

Everyone needs to live in community, not just extroverts. This is not going to be an event that you will be, you know, singled out for. You're not going to have to speak in front of the group about anything, share your opinions or anything like this.

It’s just the time for organic fellowship and you know, hopefully you come away with a connection with someone that you would never have expected. Let's say you do have a lot of homeschool friends already. So awesome. Bring them with you.

You know, we're really excited about doing this event, particularly because we are doing it on the Missouri side and MPE, typically speaking, does a lot of things in Johnson County and on the Kansas side. And there's a need for this kind of thing over here to the east.

And so yeah, bring your homeschool friends and let's get things a little bit more active over here together for MPE.

If you're super busy, I would really encourage you to look at what is filling up your calendar. Is it stuff that's draining you or are you feeling filled up by it? And so if you're not feeling filled up, I would consider one night, like it's not an ongoing commitment, like maybe just cancel something for that night and just take a break and a breath for yourself and say, I'm gonna do this for myself tonight. And I'm going to go to the GROW event.

The MPE event, Women's Encouragement Day, is something that a lot of us plan for – “You're not going on a hunting trip that weekend,” or you're not going to see, like, you know, the dads are like on notice. Like, that's the weekend that they get to go to Women's Encouragement Day. And that's awesome. But, you know, one day a year is not enough to fill us up, and so these smaller events throughout the school year are just so important to keep us fit and encouraged in our journey. 

Shanxi: I really like what you said. It's also about being shy and introverted too, because one thing I've noticed about myself is I thought I was always shy and introverted until I had kids, and then I realized I really craved that adult interaction with people who know what I'm going through, and I don't have to explain myself a billion times and I felt like I rushed to the opposite extreme, where I was like any time I was outside, I would just run to like total strangers and be like, “Oh, you have a new child, too!” And so yeah, just being able to even meet in small groups with other people who know what you're going through, you’re not alone, can really make all the difference. 

Christa: Yeah, the Lord really did create us to live within community and with friendships. Yeah.

Shanxi: And I mean one thing I would say also to moms who were starting out, like me or like I was a few years ago, is don't expect that close friendship that you're craving for to just sprout up in like a year. It really takes time.

And I found for me personally, there will be connections that I'll make at a GROW event or something, and then I'll see them again in another, and then I'll see them again in another setting. And usually it's, you know, we're doing something together, or it's a shared value or a shared interest. And then over time, that person becomes my close friend. But it happened if I hadn't taken the step of, I'm going to build margin just for this thing. And then like you said, the Lord takes it from there. 

Christa: Yeah. Actually, it's funny because I do have, I can think of a handful of moms that I have encountered over the years at different events, whether it be Women's Encouragement Day or the conference, or you know this AHG event, or just different things that I don't have the opportunity to see them on a regular basis.

Yeah, it's like every time I see them an event, the friendship deepens just a little bit. And it's always like, we're all in the same boat, right? None of us are living this lap of luxury life where, you know, we have 5 assistants doing everything for us, and we've got all the time, right? That's just not our lifestyle here. And so I think we're all much better than we expect each other to be at, like, picking up where we left off and enjoying opportunities to see one another face to face whenever we can. So this is a great opportunity for it. And I just I think that we should take it and run with it.

Shanxi: What are some of your tips for moms who you know may feel overwhelmed at the idea of going back to the school year or the homeschool year? “I'm feeling defeated before I even begin.” What should I do to pull myself out of that and just change my mindset? 

Christa: Sure. So I would say that if you're at the beginning of the school year and you're already feeling overwhelmed, then it's probably an invitation to evaluate what you're doing. And this is a perfect opportunity to call on your community, actually.

So I would find a friend that you trust that you know is going to listen to you. And, you know, ask him or her to sit down with you, and it could even be your husband, for that matter, and help you assess what your plans are for the school year.

What curriculum are you using for history and what are you doing for literature and math? And you know, what are all the things? And lay it out. Let everything out for what your plan is for the year and have them help you pinpoint where is the overwhelm coming in.

Is math an issue? We just had a problem with math recently in our household, and I was talking to a friend about it and she goes, you need to pitch it and try something new. We did it and everyone's excited about math lessons right now. Sometimes you just do have to take that pause and pinpoint where is the overwhelm coming from.

So here are some things that I was thinking through, that might be questions you need to ask yourself. Do you need to delay your start date? Do you need to change a curriculum for a subject? Do you need to build margin for yourself? Like, for the school year you're going, “I'm never going to have time for myself.“ Fix that now. Like build in a day, that you know you're going to have 1/2 an hour to drink a cup of coffee by yourself or whatever it is that you need for your lifestyle.

Are you doing anything relational with your kids instead of just instructional? Like our family, we have one day a week that we do lessons and stuff. And that's like what we do for school and that afternoon. That's when music happens and dance and, you know, the relational things are coming in and out of those things.

When do you go to the park? You know, it's important to build those things in just as much as it is to know how many math lessons you're doing a week. Do you need more structure? Like, are you overwhelmed? Because nothing makes sense. Or do you need less structure? Maybe you're holding yourself to too high of a standard.

Do you or your kid need help with a certain subject? Do you need to get some outside help?

So if you're feeling wrong at the beginning of the school year or even before it starts, I guarantee that you need to have a trusted friend look at you in the face and remind you who you are and how you were created, because you know, sometimes we just need to be reminded who we are. And that is a child of God. We are image bearers of Christ. And so, you know, when we're following him and we're looking to him for our answers, we really have the ability to take that overwhelm off of our shoulders and put it on his.

It's really important to take those moments with someone that you trust that's going to lift your eyes back to heaven and to, you know, remind us that that's where our plans should come from.

And also it's important to remember to be that friend for someone else. So you know, while you're looking for someone to encourage you, think about who are you encouraging? Sometimes those moments are an encouragement to ourselves too, because we realized that the advice we're giving to someone else is something that we could also take into our hearts.

Shanxi: What you said also reminds me about when Paul's talking in Corinthians about, you know, the church being the body of Christ and how, you know, the foot can’t say, “I don't need you,” or you know the eye can't say to the ear, “I don't need you,” because you're right. I mean, especially in the homeschool community, there are so many people with different gifts and different talents, and it would be very foolish of us to say, Oh, I don't need that, when there's just so much diversity and so much variance in temperaments and homeschool styles and we can all learn from one another. I mean, that's the beauty about homeschooling is you're never done. There's always more to learn. There's always explore.

Christa: Yeah, one of my favorite things about homeschooling is that we can really take a break from the mold of society and remember that education is about teaching someone how to learn. Sometimes it gets lost in systems. We get focused on, you know, teaching toward a test or, you know, different things like that. But you know when we are with our own children, we can really remember that education is about wonder. And about, you know, teaching someone to learn and how to think. <barking>

And so sorry, my dog is going crazy right now. I don't know if you can hear it.

So that goes for each other too. You know, like we need to remember that we're here to learn how to work with different personalities and different learning styles. And draw from each other in that.

Shanxi: And especially when our children often remind us. <laughs>

Christa: Right. Like how come you weren't just like me? or maybe, “Thank the Lord that you weren't just like me.”

Shanxi: Is there anything else you wanted to add, anything that we missed, maybe about the event or just about the school year in general?

Christa: No, I don't think so. I'm really excited about starting our second school year as a co-op. And you know, if there's moms that are looking for somewhere to connect, I would encourage them to reach out to me, you know, not just with the GROW event but just through Facebook or email address.

And I love to just be that listening ear and a resource to moms that are, you know, trying to figure things out. So if you're that mom that is overwhelmed and you don't know what friend to go to, to try to evaluate, how to eliminate that overwhelm? I would love to be a listening ear to someone that needs that. 

Shanxi: Thanks so much for listening. We hope you are encouraged in your homeschool journey.

Please continue the conversation with us on our website, midwesthomeschoolers.org or email us at podcast at midwestparenteducators.org. We're also active on social media if you'd like to connect with us there. Thanks to Kevin McLeod of incompetech.com for providing this royalty-free song, Wholesome, which is licensed under creativecommons.org.