5 Skills To Help Our Children Reach Their Full Potential: Monica Irvine

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Shanxi: Hello, this is Shanxi Omoniyi, host of MPE’s “Homeschool Hints” podcast to encourage you wherever you may be on your homeschool journey.

Today, we're listening to Monica Irvine, master motivator from The Etiquette Factory. She will be one of the vendors at our homeschool conference April 4th-5th at the KCI Expo Center. Monica joined us recently on a Facebook Live that highlighted 5 skills every child must be taught to help them live more honorable lives.

Monica: You all, I'm excited that I'm going to get to come out to your homeschool convention this year. I wasn't able to come last year, and so it's one of my favorite places to come. I have an aunt and cousin that lives right by the MPE airport, and so I get to see family when I'm out there. And so I'm really looking forward to being with you all and being able to do more workshops.

So tonight, I'm just going to go over 5 essential skills that I believe are so important that we teach and model our children. And so anytime you hear me teach whenever I expand and expound on how to raise children who live honorable lives and who reach their full potential, you're always going to see me bring it back to mom and dad.

So I've got three boys. You all, our children are their own people, and I have learned now that I'm a grandma and now that all my kids have gone left the home, I have definitely learned that we only have so much control over our children.

In case no one has told you, I want to tell you something that is really important now, whether you believe me or not, I don't know. But I want you to know that how your children turn out is really not up to you.

However, you have an enormous ability to impact the path that your children choose, but they have to choose it. But what I have found is that when we show and are good at showing our children the correct path, when they can see us in our lives living on this path and the benefits and blessings and happiness and joy and the ability to overcome hardships and trials with peace and joy, then there's a higher likelihood that they will choose that path.

But more than likely, they have to see it modeled. They have to see the payoff, to help them want to choose the path that we, their parents have seen and have chosen, and that's why we have an enormous ability to influence our children. But I want you to realize that your children have to choose.

So how do we help them as they learn how to make choices? Well, skill #1 is we have to teach our children how to prioritize their life. How do we teach them that? Because they're going to watch us prioritize our life.

If I were to ask your children right now, hey, could you tell me what is your mom or dad or your parents’ priorities? List them in order. Give me the top three priorities in your parents’ life.

What do you think they would say? Would they say, oh, us kids, number one, would they say that? That's not a terrible thing.

Would they say, oh God, God is number one for my parents.

Would they say, oh, my parents’ marriage, each other. That's the priority.

Would they say, my dad's work, his work is his priority.

Would they say, my mom's cell phone. It's her priority. That's what she does more than anything else.

What would your kids say? What I hope they will say is it's God, family, country.

How do our children know that we place God first? And what does that look like? How do we teach our children to do that?

Oh, we can't just sit around and read our scriptures all day long. We can think about them. A lot of the day, our children have got to see not only that we put God first, but why do we do it and what are the benefits of putting God first? What are some ways to put God first?

Well, when I was a young mom, y'all, and I went and visited one of my college roommates and she was a young mom. We were both young mothers. I had one child. She had three. Or maybe I think 3 at the time. And anyway, I went and spent three, maybe 3 days with her and when I got there, one thing I noticed really quickly is that her and her family prayed often.

So in the morning, of course they would pray over breakfast. But then right before her husband left for work, either the husband or my friend would say, hey, family prayer, and all the little kids, little toddlers, literally all, you know, the four year old, the five year old, would come running into the family room. They would all immediately get down on their knees. They knew the drill, and they would be in a circle. And I joined them in the circle.

And then the dad or the mom said a prayer and just prayed over each other, prayed for their day, and dad went to work.

Then at night, of course, dinner happened. And of course they prayed over dinner. But then after dinner and after the dishes were cleaned and mom or dad would say, family scripture time. And all the kids came running, even the ones that couldn't read, carrying their little scriptures and sat down in the living room, and then mom or dad opened the scriptures and they would read maybe a couple of verses at this time.

Anyway, it just touched me so much. I mean, we prayed and we would say night time prayers mostly, probably not every night. And we prayed with our kids at our meals, but we just we didn't do it like my friend and her family was doing it.

So I got home. And I was like, honey, we gotta pray more. I want us to pray more. And of course, my husband was on board. OK. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah. Let's have morning prayer. And we tried and we tried.

And it just, it didn't work. We always forgot. And I would sit there and go how? Why is this so hard to remember to pray? I mean, my goodness, I want to pray. I know it's important for our family. I want that feeling that I felt at my friend's house. Why is it so hard?

Well, it's hard because the enemy doesn't want you to pray. The enemy doesn't want your children to hear you pray. He doesn't want you all to read your scriptures every day. He does not want you to do that.

So what I did is I decided to print some “Don't forget to pray” signs. I'm a visual person. I got to see it and so I printed about ten “Don't forget to pray” signs and I did all ten of them and I cut them out and I taped them everywhere. Why didn't I just print three? I don't know. Probably because I know myself, or I knew myself.

And so I put one on the bathroom mirror. I put one on the refrigerator on my night stand. OK. The last two that I taped up, I taped the last one next to the last one right by the front door locked. So when I was headed outside, I had to turn the lock. And there was that prayer. And I thought, OK, if I fly by that one and ignore that one. Also, the last one I taped was on my car’s dashboard. And I thought, OK, well, if I pass all of these signs and I keep ignoring them, then surely I will say a quick prayer in the car. But yeah.

So and y'all, in those moments, it worked. We became a praying family. We've always been a praying family since that time. You know, when our kids went off to college, we still had family prayer every time that we talk to our kids, we ended the conversation and family prayer, my friend that I was telling you about. You know, I had visited her over the last 30, 35 years and I have watched her family grow, and it's never changed ever.

The last time I was at her house, two of her kids are grown and married. There were two still left at home. They sat down. But now? Now those conversations, Scripture time is much different. I sat and listened to her. It's been about 3 years ago since I spent several nights with her and her daughter was probably 17 at the time, and listening to her daughter about what the scriptures meant to her that they had studied that day. I just was like, wow, this is what happens.

You all, see, you're not going to see the fruits of your labor. I mean, you might see a few little fruits. But typically, these kind of commitments, you don't see the fruits of your labor until years down the road.

And now as that mother, my friend, watches her children have scripture study and prayer with her family. That's when you really start to say it mattered. They listened. They thought it was important.

And, you know, sometimes scripture study with your kids. You got one child hanging from the chandelier, two over here are punching each other and you're trying to have this sacred moment, and a lot of times when you're raising your kids, it doesn't feel very sacred, y'all. It feels like you're in the depths of you know where, but you just keep trying.

I think Heavenly Father loves effort, and I know he blesses effort, it makes – it's like it just makes us so happy when we see our kids trying to make good choices. And I think God feels the same way. He just loves watching us, his children trying to make good choices, and he will bless that and magnify it thousandfold.

So you keep trying as our children understand our priority is God.

I'm going to give one little warning, you all, just because I feel like this is plaguing our society. I meet so many families, good Christian families, who don't go to church anymore or very rarely. They say they want to.

But you know why they don't? Because their kids are in the competitive Soccer League or competitive Baseball League, the travel teams. The travel, gymnastic leagues and every weekend, a lot of weekends are in a different city, and you know ,it used to be games were only on Saturdays, then it was Saturdays and Sunday afternoons, and now it's all day Sunday and now usually Sunday is the championship game, so we can't miss that. You're going to regret it. I promise you will regret it if you allow your family to choose the world over God.

You know, we sit there and we read the Israelite stories and about, you know, the Israelites coming out of Egypt and building the golden calf. And you're just thinking, who were those people? I mean, my goodness, they saw the parting of the Red Sea and they get out. And they build a golden calf. They're us, if we're not careful.

You, at some point in your life, have been given a testimony that Jesus Christ is your savior, and you, because of that testimony, it's changed everything for you and you, you knew that was true. You still know it's true.

But then are we tempted to have a golden calf and teaching our children? Oh yeah, y'all. Yeah. Church is important, and we put God first – well, unless there's a ball game on Sunday morning.

I just want you to be careful. You know, Satan doesn't have to get us to go out and commit grievous sins to accomplish his purposes. He just has to get our eye off of the Savior. Like when Peter was standing on water. He was standing on water. He got out of the boat. He was the only disciple that got out of the boat, and he was standing on water. And then he took his focus just for a moment off of the Savior. What happened? He began to sink.

Teach your children that your priority as a family is God first, because that's how you know you can most protect your family and your children and then family. How do we prioritize our family?

Well, one way like you're already doing is you homeschool your family. You homeschool your kids because you love them and you want to teach them correct principles. So bravo to you because you've made that decision. It is not an easy decision. Oh my goodness. I'm a retired homeschool mom. I know that.

I want you to know that I think it's so important that we have fun with our family. If I were to ask your kids today, what's something really fun your family did? What is something that your family did lately that's just really, really fun?

Would they be able to tell me something? You know how sometimes as parents, typically you and I – I hope so – we always have something coming that we're looking forward to. I mean, if you're like me, y'all, I've got to have something I'm looking forward to daily, or just life gets monotonous. I work so hard like you do. I gotta have some fun, whether it's going to lunch with a friend, you're going to see a family member or going to a Bible study or going shopping with my sister. I mean, there's gotta be something on the horizon.

Your children need those some things just as much as we do. Put on your calendar, family fun time, and make sure your kids can see the calendar. If your kids don't believe that spending time and just having fun, no agenda but to have fun with your kids, is not at the top of your priority list, then where do they feel they fit on your priority list? Because they'll see Mom and Dad have all these things scheduled. Bible study with their friends, lunch with their friends, golf or fishing with my buddy, whatever it is.

But do your children see their name on your calendar when it's just about fun? Not a doctor's appointment, but just fun.

I want you to think about, you've got each of your child's names, and by each of your child's names, you have 18 boxes. You have 18 summers. With your children y'all, it's true. Every summer I want you to X out another box. If no one has ever told you, you're going to miss it. I cannot express how much you're going to miss it.

You're going to wish that the one little gift – well, among his thousands of gifts, but one gift that God gave us – was an opportunity to time travel so we could just go back in time and just spend one day to relive one day where your little children were running around at your.feet.

Even if they were arguing and, you know, spitting at each other, you're going to wish you could go back and relive one of those days. But you can't. Enjoy it. Cherish it. So we're going to teach our children to prioritize their life.

#2. One of the things, you all, I know you do this, but I just want us to pick it up a notch. I have a company called the Etiquette Factory. So I teach etiquette, is what I love to do, and let me give you a definition of etiquette because then it's going to help you with this next skill.

Etiquette is helping those around us to feel valued and comfortable. If I can't show you how an etiquette skill doesn't show others that we value them, to me it's not an etiquette skill. It's not this list of dos and don'ts and just what fork I eat my salad with. It's about showing love and value to others.

So as parents, one of our most important jobs, besides teaching our children how to follow Jesus Christ, is to teach our children how to love one another. The greatest of two commandments, to love one another.

And so, as you all know, all of us, we tend to be well, selfish. We all fight against selfishness every day of our life. We want what we want. We want to watch what we want to watch. We want to go to the store, we want to go to the store. That's what we want. We want the thermostat set to what we want. That is just who we are. And so we've got to fight against our natural man, so that we can become better.

So how do we teach our children? Well, we talk about it all the time. We have got to teach our children to always be looking for opportunities to serve. Let me give you an example.

Like, I'm sure you all teach your children to hold the door for someone, right? I mean, hopefully you're never going to walk into a door where you don't glance over your shoulder to see if someone's coming behind you. When we do that, it's so simple, right? And it seems like it doesn't matter all that much, but sure, it's nice to do that.

But in reality, what we don't realize is when we stop our life for a moment, a couple of moments, and hold the door for someone, we’re actually sending a message to that person, and that message is, I see you and you matter, and I can pause my life for a moment and hold the door for you.

And if I'm too busy to do that, well then, I've allowed my life to be too busy. It matters so much.

So how do we teach our children? Well, first we have to require that behavior. You see, often we don't understand really why a behavior is good and true until we do it. And then after we practice that behavior, over time we start to gain a testimony that that is good and it blesses us.

For instance, you know when you get a call, y’all, and someone from church says, hey, Monica, you know the Smith family, they just had their, their other baby, their new baby? Would you be able to take a meal over to them this week?

And you typically will say yes, and you hang up. Now, you said yes, but deep down, your anxiety level just went whoop because you're like, when am I going to have time to cook this meal? And you really don't want to.

And now you're stressed out about it and you don't have time. Who has time to add another thing? But you do because you know it's the right thing to do.

OK, so then somehow you work it out somehow, even if you don't get much sleep, you cook this meal and then you take it to the Smith family and you visit with them for a few minutes and then you get in your car.

How do you feel? Are you glad? You are, aren't you? Because, see, that's what happens, you all. That's why Jesus taught us that when you do it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me, because the blessing that comes to us when we serve Jesus Christ. How do we serve Jesus Christ by serving others? The blessing that comes to us is our cup fills up a little bit more with love and gratitude.

That's what children today need. If you want to raise children who are honorable, they have to do honorable things. If you want children to be selfless, they have to do selfless things. If you want children to be kind, they have to do kind things. It is our responsibility as parents to create opportunities for our children to learn these gospel principles that will bless their life and bring them joy.

So how do we teach our kids to be kind? Well, OK, we're getting ready to go through the Walmart checkout line or the grocery store checkout line. And you're going to bend down to your kids and say, hey, kids, what are we about to do? Uh, go through the checkout line, mom. Yeah. So what does that mean? What are we going to do? Oh, yeah. We're all going to say hello or greet the cashier. And why are we going to do that, kds? So we can show her that we value her. That's right.

And so then, instead of us going through the checkout line with you, mom, scrolling on Facebook and your kids over here obsessed with the candy, begging for what they can have, now you've taken your whole situation and you've turned it outward. It's so simple.

But parents, we have to be purposeful. We have to look for these opportunities to teach our children how to share love. So let's go on to the next one.

You all, we are going to teach our children to look for opportunities to serve. I always teach, whether it's adults or whether it's kids. I literally teach people to walk around with your head up, and I'm serious. I mean, physically up and your eyes open, not in your phone. Because a lady and a gentleman are always looking for who needs me, what little elderly person in the grocery store needs an extra hand? What person passing by me on the sidewalk just needs a smile and a hello? That's what ladies and gentlemen do.

So the third skill related to this skill, be looking outward, is to teaching our children the skills of kindness. Of course they're related. I Just want to point out here is I know you're teaching your kids to be kind.

I just want to make sure that you know that being kind, in my opinion, requires skills. Our society has stopped teaching the skills of kindness, except when we are correcting our children.

So when do you typically teach manners to your children? It's usually when they just did something wrong, correct? You see, your kids do something you're like, oh, honey, no. Maybe you can't do that. That's not polite. Oh, honey, you can't say that to people. You cannot tell grandpa that he smells bad. That's rude, and that hurts his feelings.

Something that I learned a long time ago. It doesn't matter how old you are, you can be 30 years old or three years old. When you are being corrected, even when it's done with a gentle tone, you have an emotional response. It's a self-protection, So what we do is we kind of emotionally stiffen up. It's called a hardening of the heart where we kind of stiffen up and brace ourselves for someone to attack.

Now, Mom, you don't feel like you're attacking when you're like, honey, you can't say that to Grandpa. It doesn't feel like an attack, but most kids still take it as, I'm being fussed out, I'm being told that I did something wrong.

So what I have found is that the best time to teach children skills of the heart is when their heart is soft.

And that's why I'm such a believer in the times to teach manners, kindness, integrity, empathy, accountability, is just during your homeschool day when no one's feeling defensive. And when your children can have a more open mind to what you're trying to teach them.

And so, for instance, how do I teach my children the skills of kindness? Well, let's say today I'm going to teach my children how to look past appearances into someone's heart. Maybe I'll share the story that, a couple of years ago, I was headed into a little market. And it was early in the morning, I mean, not early. It was like 8:00 in the morning. And I just wanted a drink.

And so, I pull into this market and I get out. And as I'm headed into the market, there's a lady and she's holding the door open. And, I mean, she is screaming at someone inside the market.

Maybe she lived on the street. She appeared or acted like she might be under the influence of something, as she was being really loud and obnoxious. And so, I got to the door and I just said, excuse me, and walked by her and went on in to get my drink.

Well, the guy behind the counter that worked there as soon as I walked in, screamed back at that Lady and he was like, get out of here, get off this property, go on.

And anyway, I didn't quite blame him, but I went ahead and I got my drink, didn't think much of it, paid for my drink. Well, then I went back to my car.

Well, when I got in my car, I started the, you know, started my engine and it was at that moment that I looked up and I saw that lady, and she had kind of propped herself up against the wall, the side wall of this market.

And you know how sometimes you're just you're just kind of intrigued? Well, you all, I was intrigued. And so I was looking at her, OK. And to be honest, I don't remember what I was thinking, but I was looking at her. And in that moment, all I can tell you is that I just had this overwhelming feeling of love for her. I became emotional. I just had love for her. I felt bad for her, and all of a sudden the interesting thing was this sentence just ran through my mind. You know how that happens? Sometimes you just get this thought. And the sentence that ran through my mind was, Monica. It hurts me to see one of my daughters in this condition.

And it was in that moment that I knew it was from God, and that he was trying to teach me something. He was reminding me of something. And perhaps he was warning me about something. He was reminding me that I should do my best to try to see people the way he sees them. And he was reminding me to be careful how I saw people depending on their circumstance.

Maybe today in homeschool I would share that story, and I would try to help my children understand that looking at someone, looking past their appearances into their heart, means not judging someone based on their appearance. But we could go to the library and get a book, we could pull out the scriptures, and find many scripture stories to support this lesson. What's important, parents, is that we do this.

We have these moments of teaching when our children's hearts are softer and when they can absorb that information. So that is one example of teaching our children to be kind.

Another very important skill that I believe we should spend quite a bit of time teaching our children, is the skills of giving a sincere apology. Now y'all, I know you've taught your kids to say I'm sorry. Of course you have.

I get asked a lot of times, Monica, do you think we should force our kids to apologize? You know, the truth is, my answer would be no. (laughs) Now maybe when my kids are under the age of 5, maybe 4 and under, I might strongly encourage my kids to say I'm sorry.

But as they age, I'm going to teach my kids the five steps to a sincere apology. And the reason I teach these steps and the reason I break it down is because I think when there's something that's hard for us to do, OK? Like it's not comfortable. Who likes saying I'm sorry? Oh, my goodness. I don't know why it's so hard. I guess it's because of our pride and that it's so hard.

But y'all, there are people – I know there's people in your life and people in my life – that I have never once in their life heard them say, I'm sorry, or I've never once in their life, her or my life heard them say, oh, I was wrong. I was really wrong about that.

It's funny because when I have manners camps for kids, I teach the children the five steps to a sincere apology. And part of the exercises that we do, as we all stand up and all together, we repeat many times. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. And then we repeat many times I was wrong. Yes, I was wrong.

And you know what? It is so hard for a lot of kids to do.

In fact, my granddaughter, one of my granddaughters, was over just the other day and she's 5. You know, she's wanting to do everything by herself, of course. Now she's so independent. She still drinks out of a sippy cup at my house.

But she wanted a different sippy cup. So she got the sippy cup she wanted, and she undid the lid of the sippy cup that I had fixed her and I didn't mind. I was like, yeah, knock herself out. And she poured the drink into the new sippy cup, put the lid on, and then went to start to drink it. And I had my other granddaughter was here too, who was thirteen years old.

Well, immediately when she went to drink it, she didn't have the lid on, and grape juice went everywhere. And so immediately, you know, she started to get upset. Then she was like, it wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault.

And of course, my 13-year-old granddaughter, Miss Smarty Pants, was there to assure her it was her fault. And so I went over, and I'm like, Mia, It's OK. I go, it was an accident. You know, you didn't do it on purpose. And she was, like, it wasn't my fault.

And I said, you know what? Actually, it was your fault. And she's like, no, no, grandma, it wasn't my fault.

I go, Honey, listen, just because something's your fault doesn't mean you did wrong. It just means you're taking responsibility for it, which is hard for a 5-year-old.

I go, It means that yes, it was an accident. You didn't mean to. You didn't mean to spell the grape juice, but you didn't screw the lid on. And so therefore, you're responsible for it. So you can say, oh, I'm sorry. I must have not screwed the lid on correctly. That would be the appropriate thing to say.

Clearly, we need to have that lesson later.

And I was reminded that as I tried to teach that principle in the moment, which is what you do right? That's just normal. It wasn't working. (laughs) And I'm the one that teaches everyone. It doesn't work.

Now, it doesn't mean that we don't ever correct in the moment because now sometimes you just have to.

But what I realized is that in that moment, she was stiffened up. Her heart was hardened. She didn't want to be blamed for grape juice all over the floor. And so really, I just should have said, oh, no big deal.

But then what that should do as us as parents and grandparents as trigger, when I saw that she was having a little difficult time taking responsibility for it, I just need to make a mental note of that.

And then a month from now, or a couple weeks from now, maybe her and I will just sit down and we won't bring up that situation at all. We'll just use another example, but that has the same learning concept, and maybe role play with her. Role play how to handle it when we're responsible for something, but that it was an accident.

And so it just never fails to amaze me that it's just true, it's hard in the moment.

So the five steps I'm going to tell them to you real quick and then you'll have to study those on your own. Number one is you have to recognize that what you did was wrong.

Sometimes we go to our kids and go well, honey, do you see? Would you agree that your behavior handling that was not appropriate? Do you see now that maybe you could have handled that a little better? You try to just get your child to at least acknowledge that, Yeah, I see that I could have maybe handled that differently.

So that's a process I don't have time to talk about tonight, but that's a process.

Number 2 is we have to admit – without excuses, without blame – that we were wrong, like, Ohh yeah, you know what? I didn't screw that lid on correctly. And so it's my fault. So we just admit it. Just admit it. It's amazing how hard that is for all of us to do, though.

#3 is we actually have to apologize. We have to say the word, I'm sorry. I didn't screw that lid on correctly. I'm sorry, Grandma, got grape juice all over your floor.

#4 is we make a commitment to try not to do it again. You know what? From now on, I'm gonna double check and make sure that's lined up, or I'm gonna have you check it to make sure that I put the lid on correctly.

And #5 is then to show our integrity as we're going to do our best to keep our word. So honestly you all. I have a 30-minute lesson on teaching children to give a sincere apology, but that gives you a framework that I hope and I'm sure you're very capable of teaching that.

OK. Last skill that I'm going to talk about, and this comes from a workshop that I do that is an hour, hour and a half workshop, on disciplining our children with love so we don't break their spirit.

But the skill that I want you to teach your children is that we show our children that discipline is an act of love.

As we show our children that discipline is an act of love, based on how we discipline, we actually teach our children an invaluable skill.

And that skill is that God has set boundaries and has set security and has set standards for us because he loves us. Because he wants to keep us safe.

It's kind of like, imagine, you know, this is a story or just an example I give to kids. I can imagine that there's this mountainous road. Oh, my goodness. It's a beautiful drive. And I especially love to do it in a convertible where you can feel the breeze.

On one side of the mountain is the ocean. It's beautiful. You can see the blue water for hundreds of miles. But the road goes along this really steep mountain, and it is steep and it's really windy, but it's worth the drive.

Now, there's a speed limit sign, and the speed limit sign says no more than 25 miles an hour, so you've got to take the curves and the road pretty slow. And then they've also put these, you know, barriers, so you don't go over the side of the mountain.

Well, some people would look at that speed limit sign, and those safety barriers, and think, that is so restrictive. Like, I want to be free. I want to make my own decisions. If I want to go fast, it's my life, and I'm putting my life in my hands, so that is up to me. And if I want to go really fast around that curve and I lose control and go off, that's on me. But I don't need you telling me what to do or trying to restrict my freedom.

And the truth is, is yeah, we have choices, but see, God does the same thing because he loves us and he wants to see us to live, to drive another day.

So he puts speed limits, also known as commandments. And he puts curved barriers, also known as commandments, and he puts those in place to keep us safe. So that actually we will be more free.

If I speed around those curves and I go over the cliff, I just lost my freedom. I now am not free to choose what happens next. My choice is going to be made for me. I'm at the will of what happens to my car as it tumbles off the side of a cliff into the ocean below. But if I stay within the bounds that Heavenly Father has set, I have so much more freedom.

Parents, your children need to see that when you discipline them, you're actually trying to teach them. And it's hard for children to absorb teaching when someone is teaching them in anger.

That's why we don't want to ever discipline our children when we're angry, frustrated, exasperated. We want to wait until we can show an increase of love as we are teaching them correct principles, which sometimes includes a form of discipline.

If you would like to listen to that whole workshop, which is really the probably the most popular workshop that I teach. If you go to theetiquettefactory.com, my website, and just on the homepage, you can just scroll down just a little bit until you see podcast. Now I have not uploaded a new episode or recent episode of a podcast in quite some time because this last year I was running for the Tennessee State Senate. I've been really busy the past year and have kind of put my podcast and all of that on hold.

But if you will go all the way down to episode, I think it's episode number 11, and it's called disciplining our children with love so we don't break their spirit. I just highly recommend you listening to that entire podcast. I think you would gain a lot from it.

So I just wanted to give you a highlight of some of the things that we teach at the etiquette factory. So at the etiquette factory, we have three programs, three main programs.

We have our fundamentals for kids, which is a manners program for ages pre-K through 3rd grade and it is wonderful. What makes it wonderful is that it's a series of just 12 boxes. And each box is dedicated to a single skill, and so they'll get a whole box teaching them the five steps to a sincere apology. And there's about 20 activities per box. and it's all that we ask you to do to be so successful is set aside 10, 15 minutes twice a week in your homeschool day for a manners lesson.

And if you are just consistent with that, you are going to see, we guarantee you are going to see improved behavior, and you are going to be so proud of what you see. We just know what happens when parents make teaching manners part of your school day when hearts are soft.

Now for kids 4th grade through 12th grade, we have a program called Life Skills for you, and it is wonderful and these three-minute videos, it's so simple. And once again we ask that you watch one video or two videos a week. So set aside 15 minutes twice a week and your kids are going to benefit so much. It's for the whole family, really. I've had so many parents over the years say, Well, Monica, my husband and I are kind of embarrassed how much we learn by doing the life skills course with our kids. I'm like, Don't be embarrassed. Draw just as a society, we've stop purposefully teaching the art of chivalry. And we see what happens when we do that. It's not good.

And then finally, my third program is for parents and it's a parenting program called Parenting Essentials. And so you can see all three of those programs on the Etiquette Factory website.

Shanxi: Thanks so much for listening. We hope you are encouraged in your homeschool journey.

Please continue the conversation with us on our website, midwesthomeschoolers.org, or email us at podcast@midwestparenteducators.org. We're also active on social media if you'd like to connect with us there. Thanks to Kevin McLeod of incompetech.com for providing this royalty-free song Wholesome, which is licensed under creativecommons.org.